app03 Mon, 26 Oct 2026 22:11:04 +0000 Fireside (https://fireside.fm) The Permission Slip - Episodes Tagged with “#Mdma” https://thepermissionslip.fireside.fm/tags/%23mdma Mon, 26 Oct 2026 08:00:00 -0500 I love everything to do with consciousness - personal growth books, meditation, psychedelics, bodywork, Tantric retreats, chakras, Human Design, channeled works, you name it! For the past fifteen years, I’ve been on a deep healing journey. I regularly engage relative strangers in conversation about topics relating to consciousness, transformation and psychedelics (sometimes to their annoyance). I've been dancing around starting a podcast for a couple years now. My imposter syndrome has kept me thinking I don't have anything worthwhile to share, while I vainly attempt to find a community with whom I resonate. I've been fortunate to work with some really gifted practitioners during my journey. They not only gave me tools to heal, they gave me PERMISSION to heal. My intention in producing and distributing The Permission Slip podcast is to share knowledge of their talents with the rest of the world. Many of us have been programmed to believe that healing only comes from those in the medical profession who have gone through a particular set of training protocols. This is not true. Doctors and therapists and the like are (mostly) well-meaning and very good at what they do. Sometimes, more often than we are maybe lead to believe, what they recommend or do is not what is truly needed for healing. In the spirit of the following passage, I'm committing to a minimum of six podcasts that will be discussions with practitioners and healers from whom I've derived personal benefit. The purpose of this effort is therefore to shed light on the diverse ways of healing as well as moving into right relationship with oneself. Credits Renee LaVallee McKenna for the inspiration to create this in the first place. Abby Bruce (ma soeur) for the encouragement along the way. Damian Wiseman for the audio engineering expertise. en-us episodic You are allowed. Matt Kosterman I love everything to do with consciousness - personal growth books, meditation, psychedelics, bodywork, Tantric retreats, chakras, Human Design, channeled works, you name it! For the past fifteen years, I’ve been on a deep healing journey. I regularly engage relative strangers in conversation about topics relating to consciousness, transformation and psychedelics (sometimes to their annoyance). I've been dancing around starting a podcast for a couple years now. My imposter syndrome has kept me thinking I don't have anything worthwhile to share, while I vainly attempt to find a community with whom I resonate. I've been fortunate to work with some really gifted practitioners during my journey. They not only gave me tools to heal, they gave me PERMISSION to heal. My intention in producing and distributing The Permission Slip podcast is to share knowledge of their talents with the rest of the world. Many of us have been programmed to believe that healing only comes from those in the medical profession who have gone through a particular set of training protocols. This is not true. Doctors and therapists and the like are (mostly) well-meaning and very good at what they do. Sometimes, more often than we are maybe lead to believe, what they recommend or do is not what is truly needed for healing. In the spirit of the following passage, I'm committing to a minimum of six podcasts that will be discussions with practitioners and healers from whom I've derived personal benefit. The purpose of this effort is therefore to shed light on the diverse ways of healing as well as moving into right relationship with oneself. Credits Renee LaVallee McKenna for the inspiration to create this in the first place. Abby Bruce (ma soeur) for the encouragement along the way. Damian Wiseman for the audio engineering expertise. yes Conscious living, Embodiment, Transformation, Inner healing, Trauma release, Psychedelic integration, Energy work, Nervous system regulation, Authentic expression, Conscious relationships, Spiritual awakening, Shadow work, Self-remembrance, Intuitive guidance, Healing trauma, Mind-body connection Matt Kosterman matt@mattkosterman.com S3 | E2 Marian Siljeholm https://thepermissionslip.fireside.fm/s3e2-siljeholm 51292db8-d472-4c66-8493-c49ff0627b00 Mon, 26 Oct 2026 08:00:00 -0500 Matt Kosterman full 3 Matt Kosterman My guest is Norwegian-American multimedia journalist Marian Siljeholm, who found me in an online community while reporting on transformational MDMA experiences for her graduate program. She shares how a childhood shaped by fear and loss, decades of therapy, and a total collapse in grad school led her to psychedelic-assisted work. She describes how two long journeys changed her relationship with her body, her mother, and herself. We also get into complex PTSD, what she learned from interviewing 45 to 50 people, and why education and good frameworks matter as this work moves toward the mainstream. 1:30:55 yes <p>I'm joined by Norwegian-American multimedia journalist and photographer Marian Siljeholm. She reached out to a group we're both part of, looking for people with transformational MDMA experiences for a graduate project, and that's how we met. Marian is upfront that she's a relative newcomer to this space, but she came to it the hard way: through her own search for something that would finally work after a lifetime of therapy.</p> <p>Marian tells the story of growing up in a home ruled by fear, and of the ways that stress showed up in her body for decades. She describes work as her "drug of choice," and the month when her relationship, her housing, her health, and her career all fell apart at once. A sleep specialist who admitted he couldn't help her handed her a business card and pointed her toward psychedelic-assisted therapy. She walks me through her first low-dose MDMA journey, the shift in her relationship with her mother, and the deep gratitude she felt afterward. She also tells me about her second, far more physical journey, in which she released years of stored pain.</p> <p>We also talk about the reporting project that grew out of this. Marian interviewed 45 to 50 people across several continents, along with researchers and clinicians, including Judith Herman, who coined the term complex PTSD. We talk about why so many people with such different lives told the same story: nothing else worked, and this did. We dig into why complex PTSD still isn't in the DSM, why our system is built for pills and acute care rather than process, and what it would take to bring this work in responsibly. I also share some of my own experiences, including my frozen shoulder and the body work I've been doing.</p> <p>In this episode, we talk about:</p> <ul> <li>How Marian found psychedelic-assisted therapy through an unexpected referral</li> <li>Why she couldn't think or talk her way out of a nervous system stuck in fight or flight</li> <li>What her first MDMA journey opened up, and why her second one built on it</li> <li>The gap between medicine that works and a system that isn't set up for it</li> <li>Complex PTSD, and why we need a shared language for trauma before we can have an informed conversation about the medicine</li> <li>Managing expectations, integration, and why it's a catalyst and not a quick fix</li> <li>Breathwork, rest, and what it means to finally feel at home in your body</li> </ul> <p>You can find Marian's photography at <a href="https://mariansiljeholmphotography.com/" rel="nofollow noopener">mariansiljeholmphotography.com</a> and on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/marian_siljeholm_photography/" rel="nofollow noopener">Instagram</a>.</p><p>Special Guest: Marian Siljeholm.</p> MDMA, MDMA-assisted therapy, psychedelic-assisted therapy, psychedelics, psilocybin, complex PTSD, CPTSD, trauma healing, childhood trauma, somatic healing, The Body Keeps the Score, Bessel van der Kolk, Judith Herman, chronic stress, nervous system, fight or flight, breathwork, integration, journalism, workaholism, healing, Marian Siljeholm I'm joined by Norwegian-American multimedia journalist and photographer Marian Siljeholm. She reached out to a group we're both part of, looking for people with transformational MDMA experiences for a graduate project, and that's how we met. Marian is upfront that she's a relative newcomer to this space, but she came to it the hard way: through her own search for something that would finally work after a lifetime of therapy.

Marian tells the story of growing up in a home ruled by fear, and of the ways that stress showed up in her body for decades. She describes work as her "drug of choice," and the month when her relationship, her housing, her health, and her career all fell apart at once. A sleep specialist who admitted he couldn't help her handed her a business card and pointed her toward psychedelic-assisted therapy. She walks me through her first low-dose MDMA journey, the shift in her relationship with her mother, and the deep gratitude she felt afterward. She also tells me about her second, far more physical journey, in which she released years of stored pain.

We also talk about the reporting project that grew out of this. Marian interviewed 45 to 50 people across several continents, along with researchers and clinicians, including Judith Herman, who coined the term complex PTSD. We talk about why so many people with such different lives told the same story: nothing else worked, and this did. We dig into why complex PTSD still isn't in the DSM, why our system is built for pills and acute care rather than process, and what it would take to bring this work in responsibly. I also share some of my own experiences, including my frozen shoulder and the body work I've been doing.

In this episode, we talk about:

  • How Marian found psychedelic-assisted therapy through an unexpected referral
  • Why she couldn't think or talk her way out of a nervous system stuck in fight or flight
  • What her first MDMA journey opened up, and why her second one built on it
  • The gap between medicine that works and a system that isn't set up for it
  • Complex PTSD, and why we need a shared language for trauma before we can have an informed conversation about the medicine
  • Managing expectations, integration, and why it's a catalyst and not a quick fix
  • Breathwork, rest, and what it means to finally feel at home in your body

You can find Marian's photography at mariansiljeholmphotography.com and on Instagram.

Special Guest: Marian Siljeholm.

Support The Permission Slip

]]> I'm joined by Norwegian-American multimedia journalist and photographer Marian Siljeholm. She reached out to a group we're both part of, looking for people with transformational MDMA experiences for a graduate project, and that's how we met. Marian is upfront that she's a relative newcomer to this space, but she came to it the hard way: through her own search for something that would finally work after a lifetime of therapy.

Marian tells the story of growing up in a home ruled by fear, and of the ways that stress showed up in her body for decades. She describes work as her "drug of choice," and the month when her relationship, her housing, her health, and her career all fell apart at once. A sleep specialist who admitted he couldn't help her handed her a business card and pointed her toward psychedelic-assisted therapy. She walks me through her first low-dose MDMA journey, the shift in her relationship with her mother, and the deep gratitude she felt afterward. She also tells me about her second, far more physical journey, in which she released years of stored pain.

We also talk about the reporting project that grew out of this. Marian interviewed 45 to 50 people across several continents, along with researchers and clinicians, including Judith Herman, who coined the term complex PTSD. We talk about why so many people with such different lives told the same story: nothing else worked, and this did. We dig into why complex PTSD still isn't in the DSM, why our system is built for pills and acute care rather than process, and what it would take to bring this work in responsibly. I also share some of my own experiences, including my frozen shoulder and the body work I've been doing.

In this episode, we talk about:

  • How Marian found psychedelic-assisted therapy through an unexpected referral
  • Why she couldn't think or talk her way out of a nervous system stuck in fight or flight
  • What her first MDMA journey opened up, and why her second one built on it
  • The gap between medicine that works and a system that isn't set up for it
  • Complex PTSD, and why we need a shared language for trauma before we can have an informed conversation about the medicine
  • Managing expectations, integration, and why it's a catalyst and not a quick fix
  • Breathwork, rest, and what it means to finally feel at home in your body

You can find Marian's photography at mariansiljeholmphotography.com and on Instagram.

Special Guest: Marian Siljeholm.

Support The Permission Slip

]]> S2 | E9 Dr. Katie Simons, PharmD, Clinical Pharmacist, Transpersonal Hypnotherapist, Psychedelic Medicine Facilitator and Coach https://thepermissionslip.fireside.fm/s2e9-simons b630c178-e2ea-495b-8975-8246b3dedd75 Mon, 08 Jun 2026 08:00:00 -0500 Matt Kosterman full 2 Matt Kosterman In this episode, I sit down with Katie Simons — a doctor of pharmacy turned hypnotherapist, somatic breathwork facilitator, and psychedelic medicine guide — for one of the most wide-ranging and personally resonant conversations I've had on the show. We trace her journey from a decade inside the VA healthcare system to stepping fully into the healing space, and dig deep into psychedelics, nervous system regulation, integration, and what it actually means to be healed. 1:10:12 yes <p>Katie Simons came to the healing world the long way around. With a doctorate in pharmacy from Idaho State University and ten years inside the Veterans Affairs Healthcare System — working in internal medicine, medication safety, and eventually as a patient safety manager — she had every credential the western medical world could offer. And then COVID happened, and the whole thing cracked open.<br> In this conversation, Katie and I trace her origin story from pharmacist's daughter to closeted psychedelic explorer to full-time medicine guide and hypnotherapist now based in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Her first psychedelic experience — an epiphany on MDMA at a Phish show in her early twenties — cracked open a question she couldn't put back: Is this how happy I could actually feel? That question lived quietly alongside her professional life for years, until burnout, a divorce, and a first encounter with ayahuasca in 2022 collapsed the compartmentalization for good.<br> We get into the pharmacology of psilocybin and MDMA — including a remarkably clear-eyed look at the actual risks (and frequent fearmongering) around drug interactions with SSRIs and SNRIs. Katie brings her clinical background to bear here in ways that feel genuinely useful and grounding, not alarmist. We talk about harm reduction for solo journeys, what to look for (and watch out for) when seeking a facilitator, and why psychedelics aren't a replacement for the inner work — they're a tool that breaks the chains, but you still have to walk out of the cave yourself.<br> We also explore somatic breathwork, hypnotherapy, and the subconscious belief systems that keep the nervous system locked in survival mode long after the original wound has passed. Katie's framework for what healing actually means — not the absence of hard feelings, but access to choice — is one I keep turning over. And I get honest about my own stumbling blocks: the addiction to suffering, the pressure to perform as someone who's "done the work," and the places where my own nervous system still has the wheel.<br> This one goes deep. I'm grateful Katie was willing to go there with me.</p><p>Special Guest: Katie Simons.</p> Katie Simons, psychedelic medicine, psilocybin, MDMA, ayahuasca, mushrooms, hypnotherapy, somatic breathwork, nervous system regulation, harm reduction, psychedelic facilitation, integration, default mode network, SSRIs and psychedelics, drug interactions, VA healthcare, doctor of pharmacy, patient safety, burnout, healing, subconscious belief systems, transpersonal hypnotherapy, microdosing, ketamine, medicine journeys, ceremonial healing, dieta, solo journeys, psychedelic safety, test kits, fentanyl strips, DanceSafe, Chicago Recovery Alliance, Santa Fe, meditation, inner child work, parts work, trauma, religious conditioning, nervous system collapse, freeze response, somatic healing, ayahuasca ceremony, Costa Rica, Burning Man, Phish, the holistic apothec, Permission Slip podcast, Season 2 Katie Simons came to the healing world the long way around. With a doctorate in pharmacy from Idaho State University and ten years inside the Veterans Affairs Healthcare System — working in internal medicine, medication safety, and eventually as a patient safety manager — she had every credential the western medical world could offer. And then COVID happened, and the whole thing cracked open.
In this conversation, Katie and I trace her origin story from pharmacist's daughter to closeted psychedelic explorer to full-time medicine guide and hypnotherapist now based in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Her first psychedelic experience — an epiphany on MDMA at a Phish show in her early twenties — cracked open a question she couldn't put back: Is this how happy I could actually feel? That question lived quietly alongside her professional life for years, until burnout, a divorce, and a first encounter with ayahuasca in 2022 collapsed the compartmentalization for good.
We get into the pharmacology of psilocybin and MDMA — including a remarkably clear-eyed look at the actual risks (and frequent fearmongering) around drug interactions with SSRIs and SNRIs. Katie brings her clinical background to bear here in ways that feel genuinely useful and grounding, not alarmist. We talk about harm reduction for solo journeys, what to look for (and watch out for) when seeking a facilitator, and why psychedelics aren't a replacement for the inner work — they're a tool that breaks the chains, but you still have to walk out of the cave yourself.
We also explore somatic breathwork, hypnotherapy, and the subconscious belief systems that keep the nervous system locked in survival mode long after the original wound has passed. Katie's framework for what healing actually means — not the absence of hard feelings, but access to choice — is one I keep turning over. And I get honest about my own stumbling blocks: the addiction to suffering, the pressure to perform as someone who's "done the work," and the places where my own nervous system still has the wheel.
This one goes deep. I'm grateful Katie was willing to go there with me.

Special Guest: Katie Simons.

Support The Permission Slip

]]> Katie Simons came to the healing world the long way around. With a doctorate in pharmacy from Idaho State University and ten years inside the Veterans Affairs Healthcare System — working in internal medicine, medication safety, and eventually as a patient safety manager — she had every credential the western medical world could offer. And then COVID happened, and the whole thing cracked open.
In this conversation, Katie and I trace her origin story from pharmacist's daughter to closeted psychedelic explorer to full-time medicine guide and hypnotherapist now based in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Her first psychedelic experience — an epiphany on MDMA at a Phish show in her early twenties — cracked open a question she couldn't put back: Is this how happy I could actually feel? That question lived quietly alongside her professional life for years, until burnout, a divorce, and a first encounter with ayahuasca in 2022 collapsed the compartmentalization for good.
We get into the pharmacology of psilocybin and MDMA — including a remarkably clear-eyed look at the actual risks (and frequent fearmongering) around drug interactions with SSRIs and SNRIs. Katie brings her clinical background to bear here in ways that feel genuinely useful and grounding, not alarmist. We talk about harm reduction for solo journeys, what to look for (and watch out for) when seeking a facilitator, and why psychedelics aren't a replacement for the inner work — they're a tool that breaks the chains, but you still have to walk out of the cave yourself.
We also explore somatic breathwork, hypnotherapy, and the subconscious belief systems that keep the nervous system locked in survival mode long after the original wound has passed. Katie's framework for what healing actually means — not the absence of hard feelings, but access to choice — is one I keep turning over. And I get honest about my own stumbling blocks: the addiction to suffering, the pressure to perform as someone who's "done the work," and the places where my own nervous system still has the wheel.
This one goes deep. I'm grateful Katie was willing to go there with me.

Special Guest: Katie Simons.

Support The Permission Slip

]]> S2 | E7 LeRoy Gordon, Fitness and Yoga Instructor, a Reiki Healer and a Men's Group Leader https://thepermissionslip.fireside.fm/s2e7-gordon 3c32aa7a-2574-4d07-afd4-7f03e7965efc Thu, 16 Apr 2026 06:00:00 -0500 Matt Kosterman full 2 Matt Kosterman I sat down with LeRoy Gordon — a man who grew up in Cabrini Green, became a police officer, toured as a pro wrestler, and has now found his calling as a yoga instructor, Reiki healer, and men's group leader. We trace his remarkable journey from childhood trauma and survival mode to deep healing work through Landmark, plant medicine, men's groups, and radical honesty in relationships. 1:12:15 yes <p>LeRoy Gordon's life reads like no one would believe — Cabrini Green housing projects to Walter Payton High School, college athlete to police officer, pro wrestler on Canadian and international tours to yoga teacher and men's circle facilitator. In this conversation, LeRoy opens up about growing up without a present father, enduring physical and emotional abuse, and the core wound of needing to be seen that drove everything from his athletic pursuits to his relationship patterns.<br> We dig into how he almost joined the Navy SEALs out of sheer restlessness, how a CM Punk sighting at a WWE show finally gave him permission to chase his childhood dream of pro wrestling, and how the pandemic brought that chapter to a close and cracked open a new one. LeRoy shares how Landmark Forum was his first real taste of sitting with other people and processing what he'd been through, how an MDMA ceremony on his birthday helped him finally connect with his mother in a three-hour conversation that changed everything, and how ayahuasca and men's group work took him even deeper.<br> We also get into his experiments with polyamory and how the radical communication it demands made him a better partner across the board, his recent ADHD discovery and how it reframed decades of restlessness and relationship patterns, and how Reiki, tarot, and yoga have become the unexpected through-line tying it all together. LeRoy is now leading his own men's circles, teaching yoga at Fourth Movement Studio in Logan Square, and building something that bridges the worlds of physical transformation and inner healing — and this conversation is a front-row seat to how he got there.</p> <p>Bio</p> <p>LeRoy Gordon is a fitness coach, yoga instructor, and men's group facilitator in the city of Chicago. After over six years of working the professional wrestling circuits of the US and Canada, LeRoy shifted his focused from his physical pursuits to healing his heart and mind with the help of men's work and plant medicine. He has led men's circles for nearly five years. He hopes to guide and inspire men to be the most open hearted and authentic versions of themselves so that they may continue the work of reducing harm and helping our communities thrive.</p> <p>Email: <a href="mailto:Leroygordoncoaching@gmail.com" rel="nofollow noopener">Leroygordoncoaching@gmail.com</a> </p> <p>Instagram: /royflashgordon <br> Threads: /royflashgordon<br> Substack: <a href="https://sovereignsols.substack.com" rel="nofollow noopener">https://sovereignsols.substack.com</a></p><p>Special Guest: LeRoy Gordon.</p> trauma, healing, pro wrestling, yoga, Reiki, men's groups, Landmark Forum, plant medicine, MDMA, ayahuasca, polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, ADHD, neurodivergence, consent, divine masculine, personal development, Chicago, fitness, Cabrini Green, LeRoy Gordon's life reads like no one would believe — Cabrini Green housing projects to Walter Payton High School, college athlete to police officer, pro wrestler on Canadian and international tours to yoga teacher and men's circle facilitator. In this conversation, LeRoy opens up about growing up without a present father, enduring physical and emotional abuse, and the core wound of needing to be seen that drove everything from his athletic pursuits to his relationship patterns.
We dig into how he almost joined the Navy SEALs out of sheer restlessness, how a CM Punk sighting at a WWE show finally gave him permission to chase his childhood dream of pro wrestling, and how the pandemic brought that chapter to a close and cracked open a new one. LeRoy shares how Landmark Forum was his first real taste of sitting with other people and processing what he'd been through, how an MDMA ceremony on his birthday helped him finally connect with his mother in a three-hour conversation that changed everything, and how ayahuasca and men's group work took him even deeper.
We also get into his experiments with polyamory and how the radical communication it demands made him a better partner across the board, his recent ADHD discovery and how it reframed decades of restlessness and relationship patterns, and how Reiki, tarot, and yoga have become the unexpected through-line tying it all together. LeRoy is now leading his own men's circles, teaching yoga at Fourth Movement Studio in Logan Square, and building something that bridges the worlds of physical transformation and inner healing — and this conversation is a front-row seat to how he got there.

Bio

LeRoy Gordon is a fitness coach, yoga instructor, and men's group facilitator in the city of Chicago. After over six years of working the professional wrestling circuits of the US and Canada, LeRoy shifted his focused from his physical pursuits to healing his heart and mind with the help of men's work and plant medicine. He has led men's circles for nearly five years. He hopes to guide and inspire men to be the most open hearted and authentic versions of themselves so that they may continue the work of reducing harm and helping our communities thrive.

Email: Leroygordoncoaching@gmail.com

Instagram: /royflashgordon
Threads: /royflashgordon
Substack: https://sovereignsols.substack.com

Special Guest: LeRoy Gordon.

Support The Permission Slip

]]> LeRoy Gordon's life reads like no one would believe — Cabrini Green housing projects to Walter Payton High School, college athlete to police officer, pro wrestler on Canadian and international tours to yoga teacher and men's circle facilitator. In this conversation, LeRoy opens up about growing up without a present father, enduring physical and emotional abuse, and the core wound of needing to be seen that drove everything from his athletic pursuits to his relationship patterns.
We dig into how he almost joined the Navy SEALs out of sheer restlessness, how a CM Punk sighting at a WWE show finally gave him permission to chase his childhood dream of pro wrestling, and how the pandemic brought that chapter to a close and cracked open a new one. LeRoy shares how Landmark Forum was his first real taste of sitting with other people and processing what he'd been through, how an MDMA ceremony on his birthday helped him finally connect with his mother in a three-hour conversation that changed everything, and how ayahuasca and men's group work took him even deeper.
We also get into his experiments with polyamory and how the radical communication it demands made him a better partner across the board, his recent ADHD discovery and how it reframed decades of restlessness and relationship patterns, and how Reiki, tarot, and yoga have become the unexpected through-line tying it all together. LeRoy is now leading his own men's circles, teaching yoga at Fourth Movement Studio in Logan Square, and building something that bridges the worlds of physical transformation and inner healing — and this conversation is a front-row seat to how he got there.

Bio

LeRoy Gordon is a fitness coach, yoga instructor, and men's group facilitator in the city of Chicago. After over six years of working the professional wrestling circuits of the US and Canada, LeRoy shifted his focused from his physical pursuits to healing his heart and mind with the help of men's work and plant medicine. He has led men's circles for nearly five years. He hopes to guide and inspire men to be the most open hearted and authentic versions of themselves so that they may continue the work of reducing harm and helping our communities thrive.

Email: Leroygordoncoaching@gmail.com

Instagram: /royflashgordon
Threads: /royflashgordon
Substack: https://sovereignsols.substack.com

Special Guest: LeRoy Gordon.

Support The Permission Slip

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